


The Real World

by d2fmeasurement



Category: Black Mirror
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-10
Updated: 2018-01-10
Packaged: 2019-03-03 00:09:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,469
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13329345
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/d2fmeasurement/pseuds/d2fmeasurement
Summary: Robert and James in real life.





	The Real World

Robert had been working late to get the latest update done when James wanted it. It took him until past 9 o’clock but he finally finished it. 

He walked into James’ office to drop off a thumb drive and was surprised to see that Walton was still there, along with some new girl from sales. 

Her eyes widened. “I didn’t know anyone else was in this late. I was just leaving.” She looked embarrassed as she slipped out.

Robert raised an eyebrow at James. “Seriously?”

“We were just talking,” James said, although he couldn’t help smiling smugly.

“You’re going to get us sued,” Robert murmured. 

“Right, whereas you make all the female employees feel so comfortable,” James said with a laugh.

Robert frowned. “What does that mean?”

“Nothing,” James said. “Hey, did you come in here for a reason or…”

“I finished the update,” he said, placing the thumb drive on James’ desk.

“Alright,” James said with a nod. 

“You’ve been bugging me about making sure I get this done in time for weeks and now all you can say is ‘alright’?” 

James shrugged. “I knew you’d get it done. You always do.”

Robert sighed. 

“Is there something else?” James asked.

“When the marketing team pulled off that big stunt, you took them all out for drinks,” Robert said.

James laughed. “I’m not going to invite you to drinks. I know you’re probably anxious to get home and play video games and I don’t want to make you have to come up with an excuse.”

Robert stared at him, jaw tight.

James really didn’t want to hang out with Robert but he looked so pathetic that he said, “I’m kidding, obviously. You did a great job, bud. Let’s go out for that drink.”

 

When they were at the bar, James ordered a couple of beers. 

“Hey, when you made the update did you make sure to fix the lag on that rogue planet cut scene?” James asked Robert. 

“Yes. I did everything you told me to do,” Robert murmured. 

James frowned a little at how sad Robert looked. He playfully rubbed the top of his head and said, “Good. Good boy. I know I can always count on you.”

Robert smiled proudly and looked away. 

James laughed softly at how easy to please Robert was. “Hey, you know what would make me really just so, so happy with you?” He kept his hand on Robert’s hair as he spoke.

“What?” Robert asked.

“If you could increase the number of options for in-game purchases by maybe… double?”

“That’s a lot of work, James,” Robert murmured. 

“I know, but it’s not really hard for you, right?” James asked, sliding his hand down to hold onto his chin. “I mean, you’re so smart.”

Robert smiled a little. “Yeah, but it still takes time…”

“Yeah, but you can do it, right?” James asked, finally moving his hand away. “I mean, you’re the man.” 

Robert grinned. “You think I’m the man?”

“Mmhmm,” James said, inwardly cringing at how lame Robert was. 

“I could probably double the inventory in the shops in, like… a couple months?” 

“Awesome,” James said. He tapped on Robert’s nose playfully and said, “You’re awesome.”

Robert grinned at him. “Oh. Thank you. Thanks.” He kept smiling shyly at James as he drank his beer.

James tilted his head curiously, taking in the look in Robert’s eyes. He thought it couldn’t be what he thought it was. But, he knew the look of someone who wanted his dick when he saw it. He experimentally put a hand on Robert’s leg. “You’ve been doing such good work lately.”

Robert leaned forward eagerly. “Thank you!”

James wondered if he should stop himself from sleeping with Robert. After all, his professional relationship with Robert was very important and things could go south quickly if there were any awkwardness between them. Besides, Robert was a weird nerd who was almost definitely a virgin and sex with him probably wouldn’t be great, anyway. However, James decided the fact that Robert was right there in front of him, looking at him so admiringly cancelled all that out. 

“It’s amazing you’ve been finding time to work out and still get that update done,” James told him.

Robert furrowed his eyebrows, confused. “Um. I haven’t been working out…”

“Really?” James asked. “You look so great.”

Robert blinked. “I do?”

“Yeah,” James said. He leaned forward a little. “I’ve been noticing your ass looks great lately.”

Robert’s jaw dropped. “... what are you doing right now?” 

“Come on, Robert. You asked me to come out and get a drink with you. You don’t have to be coy,” James said. He smiled at him as he sipped his beer.

“Um. What are you talking about?”

“I don’t know why I didn’t put it together before,” James said. “I mean, with you never having a girlfriend or anything. I just thought it was because you’re such a nerd.” He laughed a little. When he saw how unamused Robert looked, he added, “Sorry.”

“I don’t know what you’re trying to imply about me,” Robert said.

James searched his face, trying to figure out if he was sincere. When it seemed like he was, he said, “Well, I sort of think that you’ve got a little crush on me.”

Robert stared at him. He was totally thrown off for a minute, but then he rolled his eyes and said, “You think everyone has a crush on you.”

James laughed. “That’s true.” He grinned and asked, “So, how long have you had a crush on me?”

“Why do you suddenly have this crazy theory?” Robert asked him.

“Just the way that you were looking at me right now,” James said. “I mean, you’ve always kind of looked at me like that but it used to be in a more innocent, childlike way. You know, like you saw me and just had this vague feeling of wanting to hold hands or something. But, now it’s evolved into these adult desires…”

“Oh my God, fuck you. You’re such an asshole,” Robert said, standing up to leave.

James touched his arm and said, “Hey, I’m saying I’ll do it. I’m into it.”

“You’re fucking with me,” Robert said. “Even in some crazy, ridiculous world where I had a crush on you… which is totally absurd and ridiculous…”

“Mmhmm. You said ridiculous twice,” James murmured. 

“Even if I did, you’d just turn me down and say how out of my league you are,” Robert mumbled.

“Oh, sweetie, no,” James said. “You’re fuckable.”

Robert looked at him with surprise, not sure what to say.

“You’re real fuckable,” James told him. He started slowly sliding his hand down Robert’s side.

Robert froze, watching him.

James’ hand reached Robert’s ass and squeezed it. He watched Robert for his reaction. 

“Do you want to go back to my place?” Robert asked softly. 

James grinned and squeezed his ass harder. “Sure, baby.”

 

When they were in the cab, Robert was beaming at James in a way that made him feel like he was imagining a wedding and kids and dying while holding each other. 

James squeezed Robert’s hand and said, “Hey, buddy, just so we’re on the same page… you know I’m not into serious relationships, right?”

Robert rolled his eyes and said, “Yes, James. I know you fuck everything that moves.”

James grinned and said, “Okay. As long as you’re clear on that.”

 

James walked into Robert’s apartment and looked around. “Okay. This is… not as tragic as I was prepared for.” He walked over to Robert’s shelves and looked at all the Space Fleet toys. He laughed a little.

Robert sat down on the couch and nervously watched James. “Do you want to come sit next to me?” 

James turned to him and smiled. “Sure,” he said. He noticed the mini fridge and moved towards it. “Is there beer in here?” 

“No, that’s— no,” Robert said, shoving James’ hand away. 

“Fuck, man,” James said. He laughed. “That was the most assertive I’ve ever seen you.” 

“I’m just eager to start having sex,” Robert murmured.

James grinned and grabbed Robert’s ass. “Fair enough,” he said. “Let’s get rid of that pesky virginity.”

Robert stared at him. “Why… what?”

“Well, am I wrong?” James asked with a laugh. 

“I don’t want to do this if you’re going to make fun of me,” Robert told him. 

“I’m sorry. Babe, I’m sorry. I’m not making fun of you. You’re adorable,” James told him. 

“Thank you,” Robert murmured. He led James to the bed and started undressing him. “God, you’re so fucking hot.” When he had James’ shirt off, he tried to pin his hands down. 

James laughed and easily pushed him away. “Oh my god, did you just try to pin me down?”

Robert frowned. “Yeah, I… I want to.” 

“Well, I’m not going to let you do that,” James told him gently. He patted his head a couple times.

“I want you to,” Robert said again.

James laughed and said, “How about we compromise and I let you kiss me?” 

Robert nodded and said, “Yeah. I’d like that.” 

James started gently kissing him. 

Robert lovingly kissed back. 

James started feeling up Robert’s ass. He kissed up Robert’s neck then said into his ear, “I want to fuck you.”

Robert gasped softly. “Hey, um, could we do it the other way?”

“No,” James told him gently, giving his ass a squeeze. “If you’re scared of getting fucked, we can just blow each other.”

“I’m not scared,” Robert said, rolling his eyes. “I was just asking. I don’t know why you assumed…”

James groped him hard. “Because it’d be a shame to waste an ass this great. Obviously.”

Robert gasped with surprise. He beamed at James. “Oh. Thank you.”

As James started pulling off his pants, he asked, “Do you have any condoms around here?”

“Oh, um… no. I think maybe I had some that expired…”

James laughed and said, “It’s fine. I’m sure I have one in my wallet.” 

He tossed his pants and underwear aside. He noticed the way that Robert was staring at his dick and smiled. He leaned back and started lightly stroking himself. “What do you want to do with it?”

Robert looked at him with confusion. “You’re going to put it, um, inside me, right?”

James laughed and said, “Well, yeah. But, you looked like you might want to give it some special attention first. Like, you might want to play with it a little.”

Robert reached out and started awkwardly running his fingers over James’ dick. 

James smiled as he watched him. “You can put your mouth on it too,” he told him.

Robert started lightly sucking on it. 

“You’re so good at that,” James told him. “You’re such a natural.” 

Robert started sucking on it harder. 

James lightly pressed down on Robert’s head to get him to take more in his mouth.

Robert took a moment to adjust then went back to sucking on it. “Mmm,” he said happily.

“God, you’re so good at that,” James told him, petting his hair lightly. After a second, he said, “Okay, baby, I’m ready to fuck you.” 

Robert lifted his head and started undressing. His eyes darted between James body and his own. 

“You’re so fucking hot,” James reassured him, running a hand down his side.

Robert smiled shyly at him. He finished getting undressed. 

James grabbed his wallet and pulled out a condom. He took a bottle of lubricant out of his jacket pocket. “Are you ready?” 

Robert nodded. “How much does it hurt?”

“It doesn’t have to hurt at all,” James told him. “I’ll be gentle. And use my fingers first.” He lubed up his fingers and then asked, “Are you ready?” 

Robert nodded.

James lifted up his legs and started very lightly using one finger to play with his asshole.

Robert let out a slow breath. 

“Robert?” James asked as he slowly pushed his finger into him.

“Yeah?” Robert asked softly.

“You’re a fucking genius,” James told him. He lightly kissed him as he circled his finger around inside Robert. “Are you ready for another finger?”

“Mmhmm,” Robert said softly.

James started sliding another finger into him.

Robert looked away. “This is so weird and embarrassing.” 

James tilted his head. “Why is it embarrassing, sweetheart?”

“You know… I mean, look at what you’re doing to me.”

James laughed and said, “Well, this is pretty much what sex is. It’s just awkwardly putting parts in each other.”

“I imagined that if I was ever with you, I’d be… cool.” Robert cringed, instantly regretting saying that. 

James smiled down at him affectionately. He looked at him seriously and said, “I think you’re cool like this. With your legs up and my fingers shoved in your asshole.”

Robert gave him a little smile. “It does feel pretty good.”

“Do you want my dick in you, babe?” James asked as he moved his fingers back and forth.

Robert nodded. 

James slowly pulled his fingers out. “You were so good just now, baby,” James told him. “You’re such a brave boy.”

Robert smiled a little. He knew James was being condescending but it didn’t bother him at the moment. 

James slid the condom on, then wrapped Robert’s legs around his waist. “Are you ready?”

“Yeah,” Robert said, grinning up at James with excitement.

James started gently pushing into him.

Robert groaned softly. 

“You’re so fucking cute,” James said as he fucked him. “You’re such an adorable little nerd.” 

Robert moaned softly. “Do you have to call me a nerd while you’re fucking me?” 

“Yeah, I do, babe,” James said. He kissed Robert’s forehead and then grinned down at him.

After a second, Robert broke into a smile. “Asshole,” he said playfully. 

James started stroking him as he pushed deep into him.

Robert gasped. “Holy shit.”

James moaned happily as he fucked Robert. “You have such a tight little asshole,” he told him. He started jerking him off faster.

Robert moaned as he came. 

“Want to lick it up?” James asked, holding his hand up to Robert’s mouth.

Robert licked up all of his own come. He wrinkled his nose and said, “That tastes weird.”

James grinned and said, “Thank you for licking it all up, babe.” He pushed deep into Robert a couple more times before he came. He slowly pulled out and then threw the condom out in the trash can in the corner. 

He returned to the bed and wrapped his arms around Robert. 

“That was amazing,” Robert said. 

“Yeah, it was,” James agreed, kissing the back of Robert’s neck.

“Will you stay the night?” Robert asked.

“Not the whole night,” James told him. “But, I’ll snuggle you real good before I leave, alright?” He patted Robert’s ass affectionately.

“Okay,” Robert murmured. “That’s fine.”


End file.
